MY empty brain

My brain is getting empty and empty.
Not talking bout study k!
I start to forget old memories.
Mayb it should be "deleting" not forget.
Can U make them different?
Forget is due to aging, time flying or they are not meaningful memories?
Deleting means to be intended to forget something that is unwanted, hurtful, hated and embarrassed?

Sometimes I think it's good for me leave my hometown.
I can just throw away all the problems facing with family, and get the so called freedom!
At the same time, i have to miss the moments being happy with family.
There is throw and catch!

At first, I tried my best to keep contacting my family my friends in malaysia.
But still, there is a GAP that separate myself and them.
I can feel the topic is less compared to old time.
Even i shared my feeling with them, they might not understand, they can't see me, can't really feel me.
I am not blaming anyone here, that is the fact.
Mayb the relationship is not strong enough..
I can't imagine if he is not with me, what is happening now?

So, I clear the memories, to avoid homesick!
I think i don't really delete them, mayb just store in another side of brain?? XD
When i go back, i will refresh them? hihi..
I hope when i go back, i won't feel the relationship changing..hope everything will back to the basic or getting better..
I realised that i used a lot of ?????? ..cos too many unknowns!!
But i am neutral now.. i still don't like germany, but at least won't hate it
SMILE!!

my smile is not sweet, cos i can't smile wide due to my big face =.='''