when the brain is fighting

I guess all of you have this experience.
talking to yourself with the separation of brain into 2 parts and start fighting with each other.
When i am tired and not able to continue the task, i say " give up! still can have other solution"
but my very rational brain tell me to continue it, you shouldn't disappoint those care for you.
the brain start fighting!

This is the critical time for me to make a decision.
Some will use a coin to make the decision.
Some ask for more advices for this.
Some stick to old plan, lazy to take a change.
Some will try something different.
...

Jay chao's concert is on 5th of March.
I never get the chance to go for his concert.
3 years later, if he still singing and organise concert.
Enjoy his show if you go...

遇见你

遇见你，我做错了很多决定，包括选择你。
是我太在乎，还是不懂得拒绝？
我知错了，我不应该走那一步。
还能倒退吗？不能！
你知道吗，鸟是不能倒着飞！
就只能往前冲
我就是不会从教训中学习，一错再错。
是活该！
该死的我

ugly

like xoei said, i am ugly..wuwuwu
i still have the courage to show you my ugly pimples..
spot them!!

NO new photo

Yea, no new photo recently, because I am lazy to take!
Actually it's because there are many pimples. May be you don't believe me, but those pimples make me moody and don't feel like going out.
I am a ugly girl. I hate pimples!
I don't like myself. but i am learning to love myself as stated at my title of blog- I love suki
I don't want to come to this world.
Those realistic facts make me sick and hate myself more.

Yeah, may be a lot of you thought i am just over care my pimples. BUT nope!!
 I care because i know the feeling of being so ugly.
When i was in secondary school, i was with a curly hair, dark skin and fat!
I had a curly hair because i tied up my hair 24hours, while sleeping too.
I never know to pamper myself.
I walked to my friend's house everyday in the afternoon. with no umbrella. I was not afraid of SUN!
but now..i am regret!
I washed my face 3 to 4 times per day using scrub because i hate the oily feel and i like the fresh feeling.
It's kinda weird!
If i haven't learn to take care of myself, I think I am now really fat, dark and curly hair girl.
I didn't mean i am pretty now, but i remembered all those memories. BAD and SAD!
No chance to cure..
I never know to like myself because i always think i am the useless girl.
Now, i am afraid of sun. Seeing all my dark spot on face and skin, damn sad and regret!
If i am given a chance to have a daughter, i will try my best to protect her like an angel!

I can't blame my mother because she never take care of her skin as well.
My tomboy style last time really left a lot of signs on me.

So wait for my updates on photo when i get well...

no edit...old me

比赛

有些人被问为什么参加比赛希望自己会赢吗？他们会回答：
“我没想过要赢，只是想吸取经验，认识多点人。”
我觉得很假！
比赛，有个“比”就是比较，分高低！你参加竟然没想过要赢？那你就别参了，因为你不想比较阿！收皮啦，回家照着镜子和自己比较吧！

你可以说我好胜，我觉得我只是直接了一点。我说出我的目的，至少这证明，我不耍心机！
我不参加我不会的比赛，别叫我参加芭蕾，我宁愿回家照镜子和自己比赛了！
参加比赛就要有信心要有奋斗！这样才会去努力啊！
说什么谦虚虚伪的话，只是因为怕输！不是因为真的不想赢！
还是耍心机，希望对方可以放松一点！
没有人想输的
这种人太可怕了！

我曾经真的不想比赛。是以前的赛跑比赛，那时的我还蹦蹦跳跳，跑得不慢！可是因为不想常常去练习，在太阳底下猛地跑，所以就在最后关头放慢了，就没入选了。我是真心不想参加，不是害怕，而是功课还是我的命根，现在叫我比，也不要！因为爱美，怕晒黑了。。

一旦踩了一只脚，就要尽全力，应就是最终的目标！

一就是赢，二就是死！

Not happy

I can't go to china website. Tudou, baidu, sogou, weibo...
What's going on?
not happy.

my facebook status:
有时觉得大学生也不一定聪明，那些乱混的也是可以毕业有张文凭，读大学就是trend嘛


yeah, it becomes a trend to go for university, so called high level of education.
But don't you realised that this trend lower the standard of the examination for student to pass the exam?
I am not sure i have learnt something from my previous studies or not. I know i have to get good result.I need a nice looking certificate. Trend mah.
I heard that with this certificate, I won't be poor in the future. Trend mah.
There are so many students who never study hard for the exam, not even attend the classes. But still, they pass all the exam. and YEAH! I graduate!! Please come to my graduation day on XX/XX/XXXX.
May be when the evaluation of the exam is high, I may get very bad result, but at least there is a motivation to study hard.Because I know it's hard and may be will fail the exam.


Nowadays, i am not interested to know what is your study field, because i know you are either studying in XXX university or you are working with holding a XXX university certificate. =.=
TREND mah!!

真正的朋友

真正的友谊，不是花言巧语，而是关键时候拉你的那只手。


在我眼中，真正的友情是经过风吹雨打后，依然让你有兴趣继续照顾的。有些看清了，就不想再继续了。因为你会发现那是不值得的。包容是很珍贵的，如果他是不值得的，就不要浪费心思浪费时间浪费你对他人的包容。可是有些朋友，你却发现经过挫折后，使变成更深的了解，也觉得值得用心去培养这份友情。这是真正的朋友，你相信他是真的，只是因为小事或误会而争吵。


朋友，需用心去经营，需有一定的艺术性。对一个朋友，且不论男女朋友，不能太过于重视，否则对方会觉得压力很大，会被你的重视压的喘不过气，但又不能过于疏忽，过于疏忽，可能就不会在有联系。这个平衡点真的很难达到。常常就会突然没联络了，或突然想避开。过于重视原来也可以是负效果。所以，现在很多时候在和朋友相处的时候，都会告戒自己，要控制自己的付出，这样会让自己和朋友都不受伤害。


生活中并不是所有的人都能成为朋友。每个人都有自己的人生态度、处世方式、情趣爱好和性格特点，选择朋友也有各自的标准和条件。要找个臭气相同，真的难！有些爱疯狂有些爱安静；有些爱吃饭有些爱吃面；有些药减肥有些要增肥，所以忍让也是重要的，如果超过极限，那就应该是水火不容，没做朋友的缘分了。有些“朋友”有目的的和你交“朋友”，那是最讨人厌的！因为他只想利用你讨好你，过后就把你丢一边。他不会告诉你她心里想什么，只会踩你的头上去达到自己想要的。假面具！


我想永远拥有许多真心的朋友，但我深知这是不可能的。离散聚合，应顺其自然，不必勉强。属于我的朋友，会向我走来，不属于我的朋友，留也留不住。

I can't fall asleep

Recently i can't fall asleep.
It's kinda torturing!
I make myself tired by studying for the whole day.
I wash my face and brush my teeth very early at 8pm, so that i won't be fresh when i am going to sleep
but still, i couldn't sleep!
WHat The H**L!!
I don't wanna take in sleeping pill seriously!

Okay. next topic.
I love steven MA.

I guess there are not many people agree that he is leng zai. But for me YES.
So cute! he always look young.
Love the drama 隔离七日情. He is great!!
this is a meaningful and special drama. The story line is unexpected.
Just a short update! *winkwink*

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今天是懒惰天

今天没读书，没碰书。
没有对不起的感觉，而是责骂。
并不是责骂自己懒惰，而是责骂为什么没温习还是很压力？
想给自己轻松却反而压力？
什么屁啊？
今晚我要发奋图强！你信吗？
你一定要相信我。你们的信念是我的加油！哈哈。。
无聊篇~~请支持

no edit leh...

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I am stupid

When i recall back about what i have done in previous years. It's kinda stupid..
Do you have the same feeling?

May be i am a little bit too negative thinking.
Negative thinking makes my life meaningless. I am the one who choose to be negative thinker.
I keep complaining about my life.
One of the main characteristic of a negative thinker is that she wants the world behave according to her wishes.
When I now didn't get what i wish to have, i start to feel a useless ME.
When i recall back what i have done, I will think I am stupid.
Why don't you just live happily with your lifestyle now?
put away all the "past" and just move on..
Sorry, I am trying all my best to do so. but..it seem failed!
Before i start a thing, I will first do my own expectation according to my past experience.
This is not a good thing. I live in my past. I confident with my past that it was all correct. I shouldn't follow my past, not to try again and again. I will shout out "NO" when it's run like the past. I always believe the ending will be the same. No miracle. No change.
But I never know the end if i don't take further move right?

Now, i recall back all the happy moment
I smile.
I laugh.
It's again stupid, but without regret.
A engineering student like me should find out that there are "electron" and also "proton".
I should neutralise my mood and my thinking.
Don't push myself too hard. It will finally hurt myself. It's impossible to delete the memory like how we erase the written words. But try to remember something wonderful in my life that is just enough to balance the sad feeling. The more happy moment I have, the meaningful and happier life i got.

A busy tempo of my life make me almost timeless to take a breath.
But I am the one who decide for my destiny.
I can be not that busy, I think.
I can actually take a fresh breath if I want.
Just a minute of break is enough to let me travel more.
Long term of busy will only stress my mind.
Please, learn to give myself a break per day.
I always believe that sleeping is the best method. But in fact it's NOT!
When I am extremely stressed, sleeping is no longer a REST. But it becomes a MUST.
I will keep telling myself  "sleep sleep sleep, tomorrow need to wake up early to do this and that"
Come on! You are not resting your mind, but forcing them to shut down.
A computer can't be shut down just like that, what about a human's mind?
When I have finished 1 important task in my day, i take 20minutes for a nap. It's just comfortable and relaxing.
THIS is what we called "REST".
the 20minutes is enough to refresh myself and move on.
I hope I can take such a nap everyday.

I am writing something that i realised from the early of time. But I couldn't do it.
I am a "BUSY" girl..who is not really "BUSY".
Choose the right thing for yourself. Decide your own life.

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Valentine's day----2

before and after...

handsome leh? i cut his hair 1 leh...hehe..nice nice nice??

rose rose rose..got 9! 爱你久久

一个附送脚链的卡

1st SUSHI in Germany..miss SUSHI KING!!

our favourite food--ice cream.. peppermint meet CHERRY...

PRESENT!!!! thanks hubby..

I am quite tired because i couldn't fall asleep yesterday night. Thought of how to make up a pinky eyes for hubby. thought of what to wear. He told me he will wear pink the next day, make me headache, i don't have pink shirt or blouse..so finally RED!! I gave him a stainless steel necklace but still in shipping..hehe...
Lovely 9 roses..thanks hubby..
Love you~~

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Valentine's day----1

Don't VOMIT please!!!
Happy valentine's day!!
No make up!! sorry for too ugly...night already,lazy lah..haha
HUBBYBBY and everyone!!! happy valentine's day...
MUOAKS!!!!

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cake cake day

My 1st cake in germany..handmade!! super nice...=P
nancy invited me for a cake making day..
we went to supermarket to buy those ingredient..
and we bought the wrong items again, we had more than enough of ingredient to make a 500g cake.
So, we planed to make another cake after the 3rd and 4th exams..weewee ^^
what flavour are you thinking of?
choco? banana? vanilla? or simply butter? strawberry? yam? pandan?
haha...
we made zitrone!! it's citron in english..lemon..so lemon!!
I LOVE LEMON TREE!!
we decorated it with chocolate..sound nice? or weird? at first i thought it's weird..but then, after i tasted it..it just simply nice...yummy

WE are the super nice group of cake making and decorating..
WE joined a cake decorating contest in UKM before..and WE got 3rd prize..yippy ya ya..
now i just realised i joined contest in UKM before...at least a prize...=P
WE decorated the cake with a "kind" theme..- TO:Orphan
Our decorate was not attractive, i guess we got the prize because of the theme and the meaningful design..
So memorable..

We talked for the whole afternoon..(from morning 9am until 5pm)
We still has a lot of stories to talk..
We didn't do this for long time..and it's just sweet...^^
MUOAK!!

no wear cloth...yee.

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How do you watch drama series?

How do you watch drama series?
from PPS? from tudou? download? or TV?
U watch 1 drama continuously? or 1 day 1 episode?
Or u watch few different drama in 1 day?
Do you watch every episode of it? or just watch it from the middle?
Do u just watch new drama? or U like old drama? Or you depend on who is the actor?
Will you pause the drama when u go toilet? Will you pause the drama when u go bath?
Will u eat your lunch with watching a drama?
You watch it in the morning or in the night?
U watch drama alone? or with friends? or with lover? or with family?
Would you watch drama until you fall asleep?

Stupid questions from SUKI!
because I just finish watched drama..haha...
WU LIAO!!
Please continue support my blog..although it kinda stupid...=P

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放弃

有些事情真的不能勉强，该放弃了。
我不是伟大的，别人的感情别人的心理世界我没有权力干涉。
你没有做到我想要的，我也只能希望你得到你所要的。
只希望你们活得开心。
我明白了，我看开了。没有再回想过去。没有再希望一切就像以前那样。
不会特地去做些什么，只是去聆听。
你不告诉我，是因为你始终相信我是害你的那个。
我只是看透了，该做的也作了，是时候选择去听而已。

你不是伟大的，你不要以为自己所做的就是对的。
当你说每一句话做每一件事时，你又为对方想过吗？她也许很难受。我以前就是没有想别人，现在我知道他要的是什么了，就安静支持就好了。
你以为自己伟大在帮别人时，请你想想你是为了自己还是他？为了表现自己是大好人，为了表现自己多关心，如果是真诚，根本就不需要说出口。是自私，希望全部事情都像你所要的那样发生。
明白你是有那份心，只是用错的方式表达了。请你站在别人的立场想想，你会发现支持永远都是人类最需要的。

我会支持你的！


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exam!!

Just finish 2 exams in 1 day.
remember when i 1st enter UKM, every exam my mummy sure send good luck message to me.
But now i think they didn't know when is my exam already..
I didn't tell too..
Remember when i was in UKM, I surely bought something new during the exam period.
New shirt for exam every day.
New pens.
New jacket.
To give me NEW luck.
I always believe my luck is bad..and this is true.
Many friends like to say " wah u rajin oh study so many times study so much"
YAH, i DID! because i am a bad luck girl.
I must study more than u do.
Or i should say i am a stupid girl, i must work hard?
Or i am too honest to tell i have studied so much?
I believe some of you did the same as me.

My non technical subject never get A!
remember TITAS for 1st semester, i got the past year. but still, i got B+.
then hubungan etnik, I followed past year, still didn't get A!
What happened?
LUCK LUCK LUCK!!
now it's economics and how to protect your innovation..waiting for the result again...

I didn't buy anything new for these exams.haha...
I don't wanna trust luck!!i hate it!!
But i still studied a lot...=.=|||

I hate exam period!!
it's like my monthly period..with increasing count of pimples!
with decreasing sleeping hours.
not because study until midnight, but can't fall asleep!
I slept at 1012pm,but i can hear my alarm clock turned on at 12AM!! shit...
2 hours is not enough for me to fall asleep?!
too stress??
I have no idea...

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述说

有些东西我不能在这里写，因为怕给家人看见，我不想他们担心。
我很多很多不开心的事都没告诉你们。
我每次都是转的超兴奋和你们通电话，我希望你们会开心。
我希望你们不担心我，不记得我。
也许连这篇文章都不应该写。
我到底该怎样做。


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水龙头

最近应该是考试期间，花钱又有点水龙头了。。
上个月花了很多。
有购物狂的我，怎么办？
应该省的，这里不是马来西亚！！！
读书读书，上网上网，如果没用网上购物，那就不会花钱了。。
买了高跟鞋却又穿不着。我的鞋多数都是很完美的，因为超少穿。
不会穿高跟，又怕脚痛，却又爱买高跟鞋。望梅止渴
女生就使生出来购物的，大家一起花钱一起赚钱

突然间想起，每当新年都希望月经别来，我要喝冷冷的汽水，去拜年汽水一定和的很多。
然后再把那零食吃光，回家又不用吃晚餐了。。
新年快乐！！

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