I am stupid

When i recall back about what i have done in previous years. It's kinda stupid..
Do you have the same feeling?

May be i am a little bit too negative thinking.
Negative thinking makes my life meaningless. I am the one who choose to be negative thinker.
I keep complaining about my life.
One of the main characteristic of a negative thinker is that she wants the world behave according to her wishes.
When I now didn't get what i wish to have, i start to feel a useless ME.
When i recall back what i have done, I will think I am stupid.
Why don't you just live happily with your lifestyle now?
put away all the "past" and just move on..
Sorry, I am trying all my best to do so. but..it seem failed!
Before i start a thing, I will first do my own expectation according to my past experience.
This is not a good thing. I live in my past. I confident with my past that it was all correct. I shouldn't follow my past, not to try again and again. I will shout out "NO" when it's run like the past. I always believe the ending will be the same. No miracle. No change.
But I never know the end if i don't take further move right?

Now, i recall back all the happy moment
I smile.
I laugh.
It's again stupid, but without regret.
A engineering student like me should find out that there are "electron" and also "proton".
I should neutralise my mood and my thinking.
Don't push myself too hard. It will finally hurt myself. It's impossible to delete the memory like how we erase the written words. But try to remember something wonderful in my life that is just enough to balance the sad feeling. The more happy moment I have, the meaningful and happier life i got.

A busy tempo of my life make me almost timeless to take a breath.
But I am the one who decide for my destiny.
I can be not that busy, I think.
I can actually take a fresh breath if I want.
Just a minute of break is enough to let me travel more.
Long term of busy will only stress my mind.
Please, learn to give myself a break per day.
I always believe that sleeping is the best method. But in fact it's NOT!
When I am extremely stressed, sleeping is no longer a REST. But it becomes a MUST.
I will keep telling myself  "sleep sleep sleep, tomorrow need to wake up early to do this and that"
Come on! You are not resting your mind, but forcing them to shut down.
A computer can't be shut down just like that, what about a human's mind?
When I have finished 1 important task in my day, i take 20minutes for a nap. It's just comfortable and relaxing.
THIS is what we called "REST".
the 20minutes is enough to refresh myself and move on.
I hope I can take such a nap everyday.

I am writing something that i realised from the early of time. But I couldn't do it.
I am a "BUSY" girl..who is not really "BUSY".
Choose the right thing for yourself. Decide your own life.

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