害怕失去

前天和一个朋友chatting。。
我们都很怕失去朋友。。
来了德国，我没得回家过新年，不知道老朋友还记得我吗？
来了德国，我没有了一大班的朋友陪我庆生，陪我迎接2011，陪我吹水。。。
来了德国，少了家人给我唠叨，没有能力看着他们的变化。。很害怕感情会变淡。。
来了德国，一年不回家，不知道家乡变成怎样了，我还会熟回我家的路吗？

感觉上我好像会失去很多。。那种迷惘很可怕！
我现在强迫`自己很早起床，希望还能和马来西亚的朋友聊天，能看见他们的动静，至少可以留些留言让他们知道我的存在。。。
每次妈妈打电话来，眼泪都好像掉，她说她不舒服，我更加心痛。。妈，我很想你！
我希望家里第一个人结婚，我可以亲自看到。。。

很不想七早八早就哭，可是更不想晚上哭，因为隔一天眼睛会很肿，变三眼皮了..所以选择早上写着一个blog。。。
其实每个阶段都有它结束的时候，而我们都不能接受。。要维持那份感觉是不可能的，维持那份感情就需要努力。。
有时我会主动约朋友，就是那些我珍惜的朋友。。。虽然我不懂他喜欢我这个朋友吗？
和朋友打勾勾不要忘记对方也是我幼稚的行为。。也不懂会不会有人记得。。。

我希望我的朋友和家人可以读我的blog，就算是浪费你们拿一些些时间，也希望你们会有呢分心想知道我的想法。。
害怕失去，就不要拥有？？

Feeling~~~~

Feel warm when my mom call me...
everytime after the short talk, my eyes full of tear...

Feel happy when sms with sister...
remember all the gossip...
think of their faces...

everytime go out, surely remind myself to buy something for them..
but i don't have so much money to buy for each of them..
I buy around 2 or 3 for each country...hope they like it!

Feel excited when i get to know my brother is now in their stpm exam..
Stpm seems to be far from me...
forgot the feeling of sitting for examination...
Universty's exam only give me this " fast go in fast come out!"
haha...

Feel proud when i get to know my daddy go singing...
he is a good singer and my sister too...
but i am not...=(

These few days i really love to stick with hubby...
everytime i see him, surely hug him tight..
haha...close my eyes, imagine he is my sister,brother,daddy and mommy...
haha....who else can i hug? =P

Feel sad when i watch drama...
those scenes..
those sentences..
just make me sad...
but the story is really nice...

I have a big big ulser on my mouth...
pain!!
but i don't wanna take any medicine...
but it is hard to recover at here...i don't know why..mayb weather problem...

First time...
First time...
First time i stay in my room for 3days...
I didn't go out...
i faced my laptop the whole day...
I did my homework...
i am happy...
but i still browse some online shop website...hehe...
but i didn't buy anything...
I miss SHOPPING life....

Goal!!!!

It's going to see snow soon....see my weather!
Cold...
yesterday i drank a bit red wine with 12percent of alcohol...
I was not drunk!!
BUT my face turned red easily...
Is that mean my blood circulation is good?haha...
mixed the red wine with cola...tasted nice!

My goal here:
I almost transfer back to Malaysia last week.
After i talked with hubby and sister...
I decided to stay here...just for 1 year...
So i have to set some goals here...to motivate myself..and make myself happy and struggle hard for the goals!

I love Jolin so much. I hope to have 40Kg like her. haha...But i seem eat a lot here...first GOAL!
I learn C++ here. It looks interesting for me now...hope i won't failed it!In my class, there are a lot of people who had failed more than 1time. wow...scary! 2nd GOAL!
I think i am quite dark here cos all ang mo lang fair fair 1...So with less sun expose, i hope to get as fair as possible....yeah! 3rd GOAL!
The weather here is cold and dry. my skin getting dry here...Not oily as in malaysia. So i hope my pimples getting better. But we usually cook spicy and fried stuff. So have to reduce them. Drink more green bean! 4th GOAL!
The thesis title here very interesting. and i just got my title on control loop performance. Struggle hard for it! i don't have to register so early luckily...hehe =P...5th GOAL!
I hope to get good result here. My result at UKM not so good for me..hope to get less than 2.0....1.8...1.5...hehe....1.0 is the highest! 6th GOAL!
There is no way to sing k here. So i will have to practice singing in my own room. Hope my singing get better...Jolin.....7th GOAL!
I hope i could dance....at least learn 1 dance for this 1 year...not so important GOAL! haha
I have to cook every lunch everyday....dat pig and hubby loh...keep lablablab....so i hope to improve my skill...chef suki! 9th GOAL!
Improve my photography skill...i always think i am a good photographer.,..but not with DSLR...haha...10th GOAL!
Stay happy with my hubby! we always argue towards small matters..hope to have better communication...love ya! 11th GOAL!
I wanna travel!!!! yeah....12th GOAL!
I wanna save money...i don't wanna use up all the money given by my family!! it's a bit harder....cos can shop online...haha....13th GOAL!
I wanna see a lot of bikini sexy girls here.....hehe....14th GOAL! summer goal
I wanan sleep at 930pm wake up at 7am everyday....healthy lifestyle....wow...15th GOAL!! and drink milk everyday...
I wanna keep my long long hair....wanna make it curl when i back to malaysia! and i wana train my cutting hair skill....become a barber...herk!!haha....16th GOAL!

I think i still have a lot of GOALssss.....These are what i have thought of now....

put this picture just on my table....remind me to go back faster and study hard

1day trip to Paris...

very funny and stupid trip...

we didn't plan anything...
we didn't have any map of Pairs..
We follow trip to Paris...We only knew that we had to explore by our own when we were in the bus..swt!! =.=
So, we got a map from a bus..and buy a ticket...
before we reached 26years old, we can get cheaper train ticket...so happy 3.40euro only for whole day...it's really worth...
So, go to Paris before you are 26!! =P

Then, we start our trip here...

This was taken in the morning...nice right? -8a.m.

Love my camera....it's really nice!!

Add caption

Fairytale feel...

Cute hat...but i didn't buy it...got a pig behind me!!

noob + tired

like the color...

When the eiffel tower is blinking..super nice

We ate something stupid!!

I ordered a sandwish..It's just cheese and tomato with long long bread..i couldn't finish it...no meat... =.=

Tiring day but luckily we had wongkengleong. He was the 1 who finally made a plan....luckily he knows to read map...hmm...

lalala.....have a nice look!

my drunk face

especially for u.....

nah...see u so boring, i wrote a special blog just for u...
actually we didn't talk always since first year...
just remember the first time i see u, u seem afraid of me...but u did talk to me...
i think i know u from rong hua right?
But then u look so fierce so cuan....herk, dn wana talk to u...
then u become "dai ka jei"
mayb the gang u mix, i was not close dat time...so i didn't mix with u...

i thk we start talking like sister when we were in 3rd sem right?
play basketball....i scratch u...haha
eat together....
talk together..
shopping....blablabla...
But then, still i don't know u well...
But i think i know u well from what i have seen all the way...
i always trust my sight...

then start sing k...
u r a crazy sing-ker....
sing zou ying...sing wrong pai zi....
but i remember your voice is sweet....with funny pattern....

then start "combining" and "switching" u and red devil...
a very sweet and pei couple...
very cute...
always see a "ben" motor with 1 couple...pinky shirts...
i choose the shirts leh...
almost every1"s gift is chosen by me...except guys....haha
I am shopping queen.....

help u make up...know your face shape, eyes....blabla...
see u present...always gan jiong...i also gan jiong for u down the stage...haha
a very good friend of mine...
dont forget me yeah...yinfen!

mokkian, i dn wana put your pic 1...but u r yinfen's hubby...bobian..haiz

simply...

feel like blogging with no topic....
now i am in the class of "how to protect your innovation"...
he is speaking english...but he makes me sleepy..
when they talk in german, i won't fall asleep..but i don't understand...
when they start english lectures, i am not interested...i wanna sleep..hmm...

I guess........
I didn't sleep during the german based class because i know i am useless as i can't understand german. So once i feel guilty...i couldn't sleep....This is the only reason i think! hmm....
In ukm....i always feel sleepy...
I am happy i am not a stupid girl....
I am not so lazy as well....
but i am TOO EMO!!!

Change change change...
The studies here are difficult but the quality is there....
I will learn....
Gain....
try....
yeah!

Please support me, my family and my friends!!

Yeah....

me!!

I know that girls look diff after they made up...

but i make up lightly only woh..

so big diff??

I think i still can go out without make up!!

My face is not pale..

This is taken by hubby when i act cute in front of him =P

really got 夫妻相? don't think so..

he is taking 大头照...hmm...

I think make up is for some purpose...working or shooting..or for some important date!

siao po!

Running out of time

What should i do???
teach me.....
 I am running out of time.. my thesis now facing problem...
my study now make me confused...
my plan now spoiled..
i am confused..
i just know that I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!!!
i know i can do it..
if i want, i surely can make it.. i will fight until the end
but the problem now is...what i want??? what i like??? what i should do????
choose between "like" and "should"....

Please,,,,hint me!!!!!

I AM STRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am stressed!!! where is the "happy go lucky" suki??
I am not a lucky girl....but at least i have the FIGHTING passion!!fight fight fight....
I will fight until the end! but now i am weak...i am not 铁金刚 liao....
When i hate something, i can't make it! When i love something, i want it to be perfect!
i know i am emo.. but At least i will finish my task even though i DON'T LIKE it!!!
But..if there is still a choice....i should finish the task happily..so i should choose the thing i like right??

I wanna choose for myself......please....

巧合

一直以来我都很傻，我一直都相信爱情故事里的巧合是真的。

我都认为遇见是一种巧合，不是每个人你都会遇到。

巧合大家同个星座有谈得来。

巧合大家同个血型性格有相似。

巧合大家爱唱歌，兴趣一样。

太多的巧合，把他们一加一全部来想，那是巧合？还是注定？是已经被安排呢？还是真的那么巧啊？其实算算，要认识同星座同血型的人也不难啊

我到现在还是选择相信那是巧合，因为那会比较浪漫吧！哈哈。。。

如果我treat它是注定，那就一点也不想念一点也不期待下一个巧合了。。。

我不看爱情小说，也不爱看爱情电影，因为我觉得自己生活已经很有爱情的味道了。我尝试了开心伤心生气浪漫。可是我还不懂什么是幸福？有家有爱情却没有钱，生活幸福吗？以前的我就觉得：会！长大了就觉得并没有这么简单。有钱有爱情却没有时间去好好相处，也不会幸福。幸福的那个平衡点真的。。。。。。无法想象！我觉得不是每个人都能明白，包括我在内。。。就算看了爱情故事，也不能明白。。。因为没有一个故事是真的有结局的，没有故事有做他们幸福在一起至死。。所以都觉得爱情故事没有尾段，没有能解决我疑问的结局。看了只会让我更头痛去想象过后会怎样。。。。傻婆！

我会爱上他，他会爱上我，就是一种巧合！我不漂亮，不富有，不聪明，性格不好，他还是看上我。。还不是巧合，就那么巧，在那个moment，那个感觉来了！当然过后的同血型，同星座，同爱好就是自己制造的巧合了！为什么不说我爱看鬼故事你爱看爱情故事？为什么不说我讨厌电脑你却没电脑不能生存？为什么不说我皮肤白你皮肤黑？因为当你喜欢他时，你脑海就只想制造巧合来说服自己和对方，我们是有缘的！

到最后，我还是相信那巧合还是那“巧合”。可是别看太多的爱情故事，因为发生在你身上的巧合，你就不会再珍惜了。（因为它出现在故事里了）哈哈。。。

“能遇见你已经是很不可思议了”---------------不能说的秘密

Stick with you

Hubby, I hope I will have the passion to stick with you all the time. But, I am not!

I am an emo girl. Sometimes, I do miss you a lot. But, sometimes, I have a lot of crazy ideas to do and I have ignored you..hehe….don’t get angry with me, as you should know me very well right?

I am not like some girls who want to stick with bf all the time. I don’t have endless topic to talk with you. I don’t have the time to watch you every second. I don’t have the mood to talk sometimes----and this “sometimes” is my emo time. U knew it!hehe… I hope that you will forgive me….

There is 1 thing! When I miss you a lot, when I just want you to stay beside me, you are not around. You are busy. You have no time. You have date…blablabla…. And I am not a rational or forgivable or even tolerant girl…I hate listening to reason or excuse when I am emo-ing! Hehe….but I will “tam” you back when I am okay. Or I will “choi” you back when you “tam” me…hehe….every girl hopes their lovers are beside them when they need them right?keke….

But then, when I see those couple who stick together all the time..almost 24hours, I think that is over-sticky! Until they make their friends unhappy with them. Until they really “zhong se qing you”. Until they didn’t take their responsibility on certain task or things. If I am the “friend”, I will be unhappy…but what to do?haha…accepting sticky couple. But surely not jealous with it at all ya….haha…I don’t want to lost my freedom. I don’t like to report everything to him. I want to keep some secret or talking topic for next time. I want to give him surprise sometimes. I don’t want to lost my friends. I am greedy! I want friends and hubby!!!hehe… =)

I love reading sweet blog.. Some are really sweet at the same time not showing off. But, some people post it out too frequent. If you are together 24hours, I think you don’t have to geli or show off in facebook or any other way. I seldom post thing at my hubby’s wall, as I got nothing to say. We chat we talk we are together. Nothing to post at facebook. BUT…not we are not sweet! =P …sometimes over-sticky will become annoying. Hehe…for me lah! Last time, hubby also sticks with me, want my attention, want to chat blablabla…but I want to “facebook”, I wanna update myself in facebook, I wanna see pictures in facebook, please don’t pop out to chat with me lah… I think over 3months, we didn’t chat in msn. Looking at your real person, holding your hand is more comfortable. Separate for sometimes can make myself missing you…..This is what you want right???  =)

他说。。。

他说，他看我的blog title，想不到内容是这样的。（我又那么出神入化吗？）

他说，他看我，他不知道我开心还是伤心。（我又那么面无表情吗？我只是要你来关心）

他说，我做东西很快，效率高。（可是为什么我的C++还是那么烂）

他说，我每天那么早睡又早醒，肯定睡的熟。（我头脑怎么那么清醒一直想个不停，睡不着！）

他说，我为什么吃那么少？（因为我怕肥）

他说，为什么我吃饱饭就吃朱古力？（因为我吃少饭，留些空位装朱古力啊！）

他说，朱古力才肥。（饭更肥呢！！）

他说我说。。。

他说我说。。。

虽然就是那么无聊的对话，可是已经努力地去了解对方了。

现在无聊的我在等着internet安装，可是。。。。。他没来！！！！！！！

我快抓狂了！！！！

写些无聊的东西才能发泄，可是也不是完全没道理啊！对吗？ Buek =P

她说，她今晚会过来我房睡觉。 （过来吧！不过没得上网，哈哈。。。）

她不是他。。。

hebe的歌有我，你，他，她。。也那么好听，我的blog应该也不差。。。