Back finally

Im back finally..
I realised that i prefer germany more than malaysia at this moment..
It's too hot here
Just love the summer at germany..
Change back the time zone
Start new life
Waiting for 2012
Go back to kch soon
Decide my future road
Many things to be done and considered
I dont wanna make any wrong decision anymore

Will i die?

Will i die if i didnt sleep for more than 3 hours per day?

打蛋白

今天又失败了
我的蛋糕泡汤了

记得小时候看妈妈打蛋白，作蛋糕，看似简单
那时的我们很穷，妈妈都只是用汤匙打奶油，搅拌面粉
到了我作蛋糕时，妈妈已经买了用具
方便多了，我却还闲手酸

今天自己要在这里作蛋糕，没有用具
真的是亲身体验打蛋白的“哭”
食谱上说打15分钟，我打了40分钟都还没成形，就马马虎虎的放进电饭褒
没想到真的不行
我就是这样没耐心
作什么事都求“快”，“准”。。

妈，回去我要向你请教了，想念你的蛋糕。。。

Germany or Malaysia?

I guess many of u will be asking me the same question: Will you work at Germany? or continue your master in Germany?
My answer is "NO"
However, in deep of my heart, there is kind of passion to stay in Germany, especially when i browse through "FB news"
I read a lot of news and stories bout Malaysia politics and social crime, crazy!
When I start to imagine my life in such a country, feel like living in a jail full of criminals and danger
I have this thought after I came to germany
No doubt, it's so peaceful living in Germany
the polices are responsible and SMART
People here obeys the rules
Everything looks just normal
but it seems to be too normal for me
Lack of entertainment
Lack of excitation
Lack of noise
Lack of chinese
Lack of delicious food
...

I know I am kinda stupid giving up the chances to work in Germany now..
I will go back to my country and try to live there with no fear
If it doesn't work, then maybe I will try to haunt a job in germany.
just TRY..
Nobody wishes to stay far apart from Family
Give myself a period of "testing time" before making any decision.
good luck! =)

my passport look =P

051211

Today is a special day (however, i will forget bout the date)
I got my total result finally...1 word --------super-duper-f***ing- disappointed
I look down to myself
Why m i just dat useless?
I always tot I only know to study without any other talent
However, I realized that I know NOTHING! not even study!
I m an idiot! CLAP CLAP!

I went shopping after that to stable my emotion ( what a nice excuse ya! =P)
My tear is really rolling in my eyes okay!
I bought make up stuff...
Intro to you all if it is nice ya..(but i m not a good make up artist)
I have to bring 6longchamp back to malaysia this time..(gan jiong)
Can u imagine a small girl like me carrying 40kg stuffsss?
Imagine now then..=P

I bought so many chocolate back as well...A choco's fan ^^
But i quit choco for few weeks due to my sensitive irritated skin condition now...
pity..worried...FML
I'm soso down
wad to do wad to do?
help....=(

can no longer cover my pimple and scar with 1 love shape...=(

So ugly of me!!

原来

原来我资质有限
原来我自欺欺人
原来我是个笨蛋
原来我什么都不会
原来我不想在这里
原来我不应该存在

Regret

后悔的确不能补救
真的不相信改邪归正
往往很多事情根本就不能改变
剩下的只是后悔
活在痛苦再加上悔意到底还有什么意义？

22112011

another "meaningful" date passed which is 20112011.
"meaningful" cos i did ntg on that day, but prepared hardly for my bachelor thesis presentation.
Making presentation might be easy for some people but not for me.
Talking in front of many ppl is not my strength
My hubby never seen me presenting task in class before...hmm...
This time he didn't as well..
He stood outside of the room listening to my script without looking at me

I read so many times repeatedly about my presentation script.
I never been so nervous at previous presentation.
I never think of having the chance to present stuff in front of "angmo" whose english can be excellent
Luckily im in germany not US or UK...=P
I did it!!
With some broken english when answered prof's question.
Use my body language to explain the things..
everyone laughed at me but i hoped they got me..XD

I haven't know my final result in my university life.
I have to pass up my final thesis in order to get the result.
Ganjiong....
Pls...god bless me!

I told myself
1.0 makan KFC
1.3 tak makan 1 day
1.7 tak makan 2days..
2.0 tak beli new laptop
I want to eat KFC!!!! although the chance is quite small as prof helped me to answer so many questions...
pray hardly...give me a first class pls....

The first Blogpost using my s2

I never think of buying myself a touch screen HP. it's amazing it is very good to be used. I'm now writing my blog using speaking. it not be perfect do to my English. but is better than I press on the small keypad. alright I update my blog after my presentation.

脆弱的人

人好脆弱，往往为了掩饰自己的不满，做了很多自欺欺
长的胖的就说自己吃很多，其实是在减肥当中
考试不理想就说是不用功，也许资质不如别人
没钱吃饭的也许会说要减肥
真真假假分不清啊！
有些是有意的谎言，有些就是所谓的自我保护
其实要看你怎样去看待自己

资质不如别人，要相信自己有其他的优点
当你厚着面子说骗话时，往往别人已经在取笑你无知
不认清自己弱点的人才是最脆弱的
请不要对号入座
本人也是一个脆弱的人
希望自信可以离我近一些

在生日会上，大家叫我许个愿，我想不到愿望，快快的就许了*大家健康* 因为健康真的太重要了
最近的我都在为自己的希望奋斗，快要达成了，所以不需要许了，实际去做好一点，感觉上愿望是拿来许一些不太可能又想得到的东西。
大家，记得照顾自己！

Song of the day

Pretty! nice dance...<3

fly back to my sweet home

Finally i bought my ticket back to malaysia.
Planned so many times, finally i bought it without thinking so much
yeah...super excited
many things are waiting for me to do.
first, birthday celebration at disneyland ( next blog title )
then, settle down my thesis with presentation ( most gan jiong 1 )
then fly back lur..
gonna meet up with my besties at Penang and KL
gonna shopping and ban lengleng with my sister in KL
and then fly back to kuching...to see all my thian family members
eat eat eat...
I chose a very good time to fly back to kuching which is 15th jan afternoon, can eat kolo mee as lunch! =P
31st decemeber I will reach KL...nice date? hehe...
1 thing makes me headache------settle JPA! need my sister to take leave and send me to putrajaya, so ma fan! and gonna stay far apart with my hubby for around 1 year...=(
okie...it's time to continue doing my thesis AGAIN!...byebye

18102011

Today is my sister's birthday, very sad that im not by ur side.
But im praying for u all the time.
1 day i will buy a cake to put n ur face like mask---revenge!
hopefully can have fun with u in CNY.

But everyth doesnt go smooth like what i expected.
I m worried now!
today i realised my soldering skill is super lousy!
damn!
i asked prof for some suggestion but he said he wanted to do soldering for me.
OMG, so useless!
he is already an old man, more than 50 i thk...
If he manages to do the technical stuff, then i better die!
i tried for the whole morning, but it seems to be failed!

I plan to write down all my recipe of everday-meal to my hubby.
I hope he can cook by himself when he is alone here.
I hope he won't take pizza everyday or maggie mee..
hope i can send him some curry paste and secret recipe to have nice meal everyday!
today wrote a mee goreng recipe.
tell u a secret, his mee goreng is not okay but his nasi goreng lagi cham!! like an overnight-porridge..

I got a good news today, but not going to share here. hehe...secret!
but it's really happy, at least it helps me a lot in Germany..
Tonight im going to german class to improve german language BEFORE i leave.
Dratt told me that it's more useful to learn a thing without tension and purpose.
=)

over highlighting my nose..=.=

十月六号

今天我朋友提醒了我
我真的没那么不开心了
我最近都在忙我的论文
每天不停的做，当然是酒店到五点罢了，晚上和周末都休息
上个星期去了munich和fuessen
不错的城市
去见识了啤酒节
好养眼，看了很多洋妞
fuessen真的很漂亮
尤其是城堡，就如童话故事般

这是我拍的，很美吧？！

第一次欣赏建筑物，摸了每道墙，让我想起爸爸每当看见木做的家具都回摸一摸
还有看见蓝色的湖，蓝色，真的是蓝色，不像马来西亚的，再清透也没有蓝色

晶莹剔透的湖，真的很平静

爸的最爱，还记得小时候二姐说要买一辆给爸，现在知道赚钱难了

我们，吃猪脚

爸，我驾着你的梦想汽车

阳光普照，把我给晒黑了，可是轻松

念慈说我像啤酒妹在打广告

好累哦，一直跳，小时候应该参加跳高

今天真得开心，写论文，吃吃吃。。
我会减肥的。。。
我会写完的。。
我会回家的。
好想再去旅行，我会回来的。。=)

061011

another winter is coming soon.
So soon
I stayed here for 1year already
I can feel the coldness around me, start to attack me

I didn't achieve any goal i set before
I'm fat still (for myself)
my tummy still that big...everyday sit in lab, getting big tummy, no sweating as here is too cold
good result? hmm...didn't hit my target
fair skin is almost here..but after trips, get back my not-that-fair skin..
pimples lagi cham...gt scar somemore, need treatment when i get back to malaysia..
sing sing sing..so many housemates are with me..
all failed failed failed..

I always ruin my own plan..
but i really cut others' hair better now..faster and nicer..this is true...=P
My hair is also long enough to make curl, but weak for that
here are my goals..
http://bluesuki88.blogspot.com/p/my-goal.html

fine, i set my target to no. 13 enough...go bec go bec!!

Review

these few days, i started to review my past.
I realized that I am actually a lovely girl.
I had many friends.
But i used to do everyth by my own ( not saying i am strong or GENG )
I think i have a very bad attitude towards work.
I have my own idea always and i am not good in explaining and expressing.
I used to talk to myself, tell myself what to do in the next step.
And sometimes, my brain works too fast to process things I want to say.
I have said someth wrong or maybe hurtful but usually it happened to ppl i don't really care.
I easily get angry.
I always guess the hidden msg from ppl's action and expression.
This make my mind complicated.
I think my brain is almost fully occupied.
HAHA, a brain full of useless stuff...
Sometimes i really hope I can be just simple.
But i don't want to be cheated and fooled.
Grrrrrrrr...what am i writing?????
fine! stupid review on 27sept!

PLANNING

plan a lot for my future...
thk thk thk....

random.september

Before the end of september, i decided to post 1 blogpost
I'm not happy AGAIN!
i know..i think too much
I super hate ppl who is not helpful
when u just ask some questions which are so important for u, and the person answer u like very cincai and easy.
But it's actually difficult to him last time.
Y can't he just recall his old experience and try to help?
The funny thing is he ask me to ask others
And i just simply answer "ok, understood"
but he reply me saying i m jus lazy to answer ur question.
F**K
if u r lazy, then dn reply me frm the beginning, and u r NOT LAZY to tell me u r lazy to reply.
STUPID idiot!
I won't ask u anymore..
u r not a helpful friend.
Answering question is dat hard for u as a friend?
I know i can't help u at all but it doesn't mean i never help u as a friend.
At least i did listen to ur story and went through hard time with u...
U disappointed me!

S.A.D. september!

plan my meal

plan my meal everyday.but I never follow the plan..=.=
Yesterday night ate cheese baked rice with hubby, end up sleeping with a big tummy
Start to think for a light lunch for today

1. breakfast as usual of cos..
2. 1 big hotdog (steam it with rice only, no fried no bbq)
3. lemon juice to keep away from the fat...
4. green bean soup for tea time
5. No dinner

now i have gone through my breakfast at 830am.
and my green bean is overcooked and "long" jor...
smelly in the kitchen (please, don't complaint me *kitty eyes*)

I was playing sim social in my room..totally forgotten my green beans were in the pot!
Until~~
"hubby, y gt bbq smell 1? who is in the kitchen, and didn't tak k of her food..ish ish ish"
"yaloh hor..mayb neighbour gua"
......
after 1minute,
"beibei, u were cooking green bean jus now right?!!"
OMG...
yaya..i was!

spoil my mean planned.
fine!
cincai eat lah then...=.=

200811

I wake up
I hear silence
Nobody is at home
It's a totally silence morning
"Morning" I talk to myself

I gonna settle my lunch alone =(
I gonna do cheesecake alone =(
I gonna watch PPS alone =(
I gonna emo alone =(

Everytime we argue, i will shout "single better lah, i wanna have my own life, leave me alone!!"
it's actually a lie to myself
Nobody wish to be lonely
miss my bbybby and my family now~~

When somebody gives bad comments on you

Gossip is nature of human beings

When somebody gives bad comments on you, you should feel happy
They see you
They watch on you
They care bout you
and you are usually the opposite of the "bad comments"
Unless They are true enough to talk in front of you like a true friend-- Then you should really look into your mistake, appreciate those true words.

Jealousy always the main cause for "bad comments" to occur
You will see those gossipers are a group of LOSER
They are not confident
They are not good enough
They use another way to hit you down..

Please, see clearly..
You are actually the best and shinning 1..
You are the winner already..
Trust yourself to be the winner of yourself...

Let's really watch up our bad sides and improve them
Let's be clear with our weakness and strength..

smile naturally =)

don't play with me lah god

don't play with me lah
yesterday night my hubby said professor mayb on holiday now
coi coi coi
I don't think so as there is still 1 more week for the exam period

Prepare myself with result and CV
Who know the professor really on holiday until nex mon.
and his room is under renovation now
I was like WHAT?!!!

what what what
???

Alright, what to do?
waste a week with waiting?
find another prof?
thesis thesis thesis...!!!

I am a super stressed person
I can't just wait without doing anyth
Can't relax can't sleep
This will be really a long WEEK to me~~~

cry...but no tear cos not sad but geram

normal 1

random

waiting for my hubby to wake up and we gonna work together, lunch together..

Yest, my housemate stick a notice on the kitchen's door
she didn't want to clean the kitchen and throw the rubbish this time, cos those garbage are not accumulated by her.
Those rubbish are not produced by me as well.
So i planned to talk with her.
From the things she told me, i felt heartpain for her..
MY god, she bears with the DIRTY housemate for 2years.
I just moved to here for around 5months, i am not going to bear with her anymore. I already plan to discuss with her. How could she bear in this way?
Clean the kitchen always, help her to throw those very smelly and "wak dak" rubbish!

The main problem is everytime we discuss bout the cleaning problem, dat dirty bitch acts like she is the cleanest, dry and tidy girl!
Everytime i pass by her room, and accidentally look into her room, i feel like living in hell!
Her room is messy till MAX
A fakey girl!
They did a time table for cleaning before, but she did nothing she didn't follow the rules.

A good news:
She and the pity housemate going to move end of the september. Yippy!
I will have 2 new housemates
And I must do a proper working time table for kitchen, garbage and bathroom!
=)

I gonna find Professor to discuss my thesis.
And return my old key to the old department
3rd time changing my thesis topic. GO!!

130811

WHY?
always ask why to myself
why got this kind of ppl?
why want to hurt me?

I reli hate those selfish ppl
today evening i reli broke down.
cried as loud as i can

why always let me met this kind of ppl
selfish
and show others the worst way to go
keep telling how good to take this way
on the other hand
he takes the another "so called bad" road

I am regret for helping them
i hate it
I wont help anymore
i didnt take advantage of u
and u too..
dn take advantage over me

I hate ppl bully my family
but wad i can do is
faster finish and go back

i need support
everytime not hapi
i can only tell sister and bf

wad did i do wrong?
i dont talk during exam cos i just dn wanna share any knowledge with that Sxxx ppl
i wanna b selfish towards them
I hate him when he saying he is going to fail
and at the end he is safe
why?

why why why?
can you just die???

You are killing me

August exams really killed me~

6subjects in total, 2 did in July, 4 in August.
2 of them are totally taught and exam in german language! They really killed me
Read again and again..
With some rest in between.
Slept with stress and yet awake for the whole night..

Finally, it ends!
I think i am not worried about those exams, bcos i am more afraid of starting my NEW thesis AGAIN.
My brain is full of time table for next week.
Which lecturer to find?
What kind of title to get? software, hardware or combination?
Which department?
many many question-mark.

THESIS kills me softly from beginning till now.
Hard time comes.
I wanna go back to protect my mum.
I hate ppl bully her.

开叉的头发

每天花上一个钟头的时间，剪着自己开叉的长发。

我一直相信努力去修剪，一定能把她救回。

可是他每天都在裂，好得了那一时，却还是不能恢复原来的样子。

只有把她剪短了，才能慢慢的留回以前亮丽的长发。

今早，突然觉得这些开叉的头发就像我做错的是那样。

没有得从来。

一，就是去投胎从来吧

二，就是去忘记藏起来

三，就是让他错下去

我从来不能保证自己做错一件事后，不会再重复！

改过自新，对我而言太难了

因为我固执

虽然做错了，会不停的想，可是过后还是会忍不住犯错，然后告诉自己，这就是我

除非---------刺激！有一些重要人物刺激我

我选择天天为头发剪上一个钟，都不要把她剪短

我选择天天做一点小错误都不要改变自己

难道改变了，真的就不会伤害了人？

she is sick

My funny plus crazy plus act cute sister is sick.
I am quite worried bout you.
When do you become so weak?
Easy to get sick.

You are alone in KL. Nobody takes care of you.
After exam i will call you.
You know wad?
How many times you see a missed call without any number?
Those are from me!

Please, answer my call ya! Miss you~
Everytime i think of you, i will cry..don't know why!
too much of memories between us~
we did a lot of good thing and also bad things together ( i think bad things more)
miss you!

Perfect~

Practice makes perfect!
Practice makes our bodies weak!
Weak makes us suffer!
Is being perfect good?

I am a person who want everything to b perfect =)
But i always remind myself, don't push myself too hard.
It's not good.

I always force myself to get the best result in exams
every exam!!
If you ask me what do you expect in this exam?
I always want the best.

If i did wrong, u ask me again what do i expect? I will cheat you!
I will tell you not so good, didn't put much hope!
But in deep of my heart, i am hoping to get the best!
The best is 100 of cos, no doubt!

I guess many of you think i am still childish and crazy.
100 only happens in childhood, secondary school.
But for me, I always believe this could happen!
Ya, i am stubborn!
I AM!

I want my life to be perfectly GOOD!
But i realised, i missed a lot of thing when i was pursuing for best result.
I didn't have any talent, singing or dancing, sorry, I can't!
No hobby~
Shopping can be considered as hobby?
At last, i find out my life isn't perfect. In fact, i should try out many new things.
Is it too late for me to realise?
Doubt!

MY empty brain

My brain is getting empty and empty.
Not talking bout study k!
I start to forget old memories.
Mayb it should be "deleting" not forget.
Can U make them different?
Forget is due to aging, time flying or they are not meaningful memories?
Deleting means to be intended to forget something that is unwanted, hurtful, hated and embarrassed?

Sometimes I think it's good for me leave my hometown.
I can just throw away all the problems facing with family, and get the so called freedom!
At the same time, i have to miss the moments being happy with family.
There is throw and catch!

At first, I tried my best to keep contacting my family my friends in malaysia.
But still, there is a GAP that separate myself and them.
I can feel the topic is less compared to old time.
Even i shared my feeling with them, they might not understand, they can't see me, can't really feel me.
I am not blaming anyone here, that is the fact.
Mayb the relationship is not strong enough..
I can't imagine if he is not with me, what is happening now?

So, I clear the memories, to avoid homesick!
I think i don't really delete them, mayb just store in another side of brain?? XD
When i go back, i will refresh them? hihi..
I hope when i go back, i won't feel the relationship changing..hope everything will back to the basic or getting better..
I realised that i used a lot of ?????? ..cos too many unknowns!!
But i am neutral now.. i still don't like germany, but at least won't hate it
SMILE!!

my smile is not sweet, cos i can't smile wide due to my big face =.='''

Long journey

This is the longest journey in my life.
Although primary and secondary schooling took 11years to be completed.
But there were lots of fun, laugh and cry.
A lot of gossip, stories and subjects to work with.
Everyday spent only half of a day in school and then back to lovely home.
escape from cooking my own meal, cleaning my own room, washing my own clothes blablabla..
When i was young, i told my mum : I wanna study oversea, I don't want to stay at here!

Now i only need 1 and a half year to complete my degree in Germany, but it is a longest and boring journey!
Mum, I wanna stay at home!

不对的相遇

我们本来就是两个世界的人
不应该相遇
不应该认识
更加不应该了解

了解了
又怎样
看着你的变化
真的让我死心
更加让我对人间的丑恶觉得更失望

太恐怖了
怎么会这样

说一套做一套
现在的你
和其他不相干，其他你以前看不过眼的人没什么两样
你所谓的原则呢？
不见了？
被自己的欲望蒙盖了？
还是
这就是你？

越来越恶心
难道你觉得别人不懂你改变
别人觉得你好？
自信是达到自己定的要求
而不是去符合别人的要求
也许新认识你的人就会认定你现在的人为吧
我接收不到

你让我相信电视剧里面的离谱情节
谢谢
我会有防范
可能将来会遇到更恐怖的
可是
我还是宁愿不曾有这个“不对的相遇”

1st and also the last oral exam

HUH~~~
Finally i am done with my oral exam in germany.
My speaking is bad, i think my friends knew it.
I seldom do presentation in classes.
I seldom speak in english or even malay.
My mandarin also campur english, malay, cantonese ...

I think i tend to imitate what i saw in my life----drama, people, movie, sound....
I don't even know who i am, what is my characteristic and my own unique pattern.
Where is the original ME?

back to the topic~
I was very worried bout the oral exam, i was worried that the lecturer couldn't understand me.
Finally i did it~
But it didn't ended with good conclusion.
I can't answer the last question. He gave me a lot of hints, but still i can't!
I stuck there, and felt helpless, my tear automatically started rolling in my eyes like *kitty eyes*
then he stopped asking.
he asked me to wait outside for the result.
Once i stepped out of the room, my tear dropped, nonstop..uncontrollable!
When they asked me to go in again, I had to really tahan the tear, acted very steady and strong, but i guessed he saw it! embarrassing!
The result is much better than what i expected...

My tear become weaker and weaker after i came to Germany..may be it's due to home-sick and dependency to my hubby.
I must be stronger~
Trust yourself, only you yourself can decide everyth~~

say yeah!

How ss i'm? hihi

bubble pop

Studied in these few days, i totally ignored my blog~
Keep repeating this song- bubble pop by Hyuna..
my hubby started to like hyuna..=(
She is sexy, no doubt!
and quite special, as she is not a fair lady like other korean girls..

Today hubby asked me, why u looked so steady during exams?
cos i don't like last minute work and studied like hell..
I like to spend little of time everyday to study, and relax
in last minute, it's better for me to prepare my mood to be ready for exam, not my brain.
i want to smile when sitting in the exam, wear nicely and forget everyth before the moment i enter the exam room.
I don't read anyth before enter the examination room, just to calm myself down..
that's why i don't discuss with my friends, cos i always believe i will be able to remember everyth i read before once i enter the room.
if i discuss with them, and i forgot the answer, i will be panic then..
kind of cheating to myself ya..hmm

bubble bubble bubble pop~~~~

笑个不停

昨天，我和bb说了一系列冷笑话。
bb说，他妈的，谁在summer会开heizung（热气箱），结果我很冷的回答，先生，我就是你那个“他妈的”！
两个人就笑起来了。。。
还有好多好多，就一直笑个不停。
是蛮白痴的，尤其是外人看，应该觉得我俩傻了

常常两个人都因为一些无聊的事情笑起来打起来。朋友也是一样，家人也是如此。
因为我们在意的不是那个所谓的笑话，而是对象!
一个不在意的人对我说那番话，我应该骂他，我怕冷，关你屁事！

可是有种职业是逗人笑的，那就是创造笑话，是例外啦。。。

大家，一齐笑吧！！哈哈哈。。。

hard time

it's exam period, to be accurate, it's study period!
I choose to give up my dream, i choose to change thesis title, i choose to stay here for few more months.
what i need to do is pass all the exams, concentrate doing my new thesis(full time) to learn new things, and save money to stay for these few more months.
mum, i know u miss me, ask me to go back as fast as possible. But i can't do it, i am your stubborn daughter. I must pass with better result. I choose to stay.
It's hard time for me now.
I didn't burn midnight oil to study, but i burn it for thinking..
thinking of next step thinking of family and so on...
I can't study at night.. bad habit!
SUKI, it's final sem, just finish all the exams and you are free...!
say gayao!!

妈~

我刚刚睡醒，喝了杯水就开电脑，我怕我忘记了~
怕我忘记我的梦，我要记下来。。
我应该是起不来的，现在的眼睛是模糊的，所以应该回答错字。
我隐隐约约听到厨房有声音，我以为是妈妈在厨房准备早餐给我。
啊！！！我忘了，才写了四行我就忘了我的梦。
为什么都那么容易忘记好的梦？
噩梦就不管多久都记得。
特地起来写下它，结果还是忘了。。。
现在只是记得迷迷糊糊嗅到妈妈的味道，还以为是真的，想慢慢起床等候早餐，在有意识的时候才发现，不，妈妈好遥远，我好想她，想她为我做的每一份早餐，我才不会营养不足。
写着写着，泪掉了，我想我又想家了~~
（还在拼命去想起那个梦，可是我尿急了，该上厕所，该醒了！）

pigpig猪

小时候的我好喜欢芭比娃娃，因为家里不富有，又没男生送礼物。
那时常羡慕朋友亲戚，希望自己身边也有一个陪陪我。
所以以前妈妈亲手缝的小枕头，都非常喜欢，里头充满了回忆，我的尿我的味道。=P
渐渐长大了，有男朋友送礼物了，朋友也有送，就没那么珍惜了。
除非是蓝色的！
snoopy我的最爱，可是我都没有snoopy的娃娃啊！应该找不到吧！hubby,可以送我一个吗？
现在也开始喜欢pigpig猪，好可爱！只是。。。请问有大只的吗？我喜欢大只的，好抱点，可以沾沾熟睡时的口水。。=P
人在外地，真的想念放了整张床的娃娃。。我想你们，不知道你们还好吗？还是被妈给丢了。。哈哈

这是hubby送的

曾经陪伴我的

趴趴狗

在ukm陪着我的。。

剩下的没拍照，最爱的当然是第一个！！hubby我等snoopy和pigpig猪！！

bad luck girl~~

I AM A BAD LUCK GIRL!! definitely!

someone told me to think positive, then my luck will get better.
to someone: you are wrong...! =(

share a funny plus bad luck stuff with you all
I played millionaire game in brother tee's iphone4! I help him to promote his iphone, he is so proud with IT..hmm should be HER! not it..
Me, nancy and tee played together..
FIRST ROUND: i only stepped on 1 land and bought it. I stepped the tax paying and so called LUCKY DRAW and got into JAIL!!! haiz
They kept buying new lands that make me jealous so much..nvm, think positive, trust my luck..let's continue then
At last I bought only 2 lands, nancy trade another to me in total i had around 5 i think...ALOT right???  =.=
That's still small matter.. In this game i got into JAIL for 5times in total, they only got in once..can you see the difference?
In between, nancy almost bankrap, but at the end, i am the first to bankrap from 22M to infinity negative!!!
It's an unbelievable ending..nancy had no land at from the middle of the game till the end..but i am the first to lose..
Well, i was nt angry at all, my luck is just that miserable.. Knew it since long time ago..
So i don't buy TOTO, i don't tembak in the exam, i don't bet....i will be the LOSER~~~=(

There are few of my friends signed up for the ALICE internet plan. I am the 1 got the wrong plan which causes me pay more. I am the 1 get fined by ALICE cos i didn't return the old modem..but i DID!! complain and complain, no use..70 EURO, sikit only right???!!

Today quiz, i answered 5 question only, 5 is the minimum requirement to pass the exam. I actually did 6, but i was not sure whether it's correct or wrong, so i rubbed it..and finally i passed...i don't trust my luck, so i rubbed it..This incident again warns me to be hardworking a bit instead of guessing answer in the exam..i never get it correct!ok...fine!
.
.
.
.
.
..
...
...
too many incidents!
please send me some luck GOD!!

you like rose?

hapy go lucky...=)

my lovely hair

should i cut my hair?
I love my hair so much..
I sayang my hair almost 24hours as long as i am awake..
I think all of my friends know it..
touch my hair nonstop in the class..but not when i am eating lah XD
i like my straight hair without straightening..
But there was an incident!
I love to do some gila hairstyle like dye my hair into blue..this damages my hair a lot..

Incident:
i make a AUNTY curl..and it was in black! super aunty
then i have to make it straight by straightening again cos cant tahan already..it's too messy!!
Then i dye it choco again...all these happened in just 3months.
can you imagine?

My hair now is totally broken! wow...
I can't handle it anymore...
frizzy hair, dry and damaged...
no shampoo and conditioner can cure..
haiz...
what to do? addicted in cutting down those breaking hair-end everyday...like a "自闭"person (by teejinkeat, cheap keat)
haiz...should i cut it short? or continue slowly treat it? cut the hair-end with patient and talk with it?

I miss you

I miss you mom.
I hear your voice from heart asking me to go back to you..
I know you are worried about me..
I will take k of myself..
I know there is tough change in our family now, i always stand by you..
I support you..
I know you need someone to talk, I will try to call you..but i couldn't stop my tear from falling when i talk with you..
This is because..
I MISS YOU MOM!!

I seldom take photo with you... 

Tear drops when i am writing this...=(

04062011

I am so lazy to think of the title of the blog post..hihi!
Yesterday i spent my whole day in the lab, struggled hard for the thesis.
It was so tension! a very bad stressed day of the week.
I never take a fresh and relaxing breath for 8months already, what to do?
not a happy post again, sorry..

At last, i went back to supermarket to buy a box of ice cream.
Eating sweet ice cream or choco can make me happy, but not in germany!
I am still not satisfied with the sweetness, I need something stronger-----alcohol!
Well, i didn't purposely buy alcohol to drink, but it's birthday gift from Liklen to my hubby.
5,2Percent of alcohol, mean nothing for u right? haha
I easily get red red face with alcohol. just a little is enough to make it like a red paprika!hoho...
Then i shout and sing..
and sleep~~~

A conclusion is: Alcohol keep me fresh and clear-headed.( as i can still see the lyric and sing nicely =.=) So don't take in anymore especially when i am tension! No use...haiz

before

after (** my face is not oily, but it's oily due to lotion =P)

29052011

today is a wasted day.
I wasted my time in watching drama introduced by Dratthenez tan!
I didn't study at all..
I forgot there is a laboratory work on tuesday, i didn't make any preparation for it!
I watched drama nonstop for these few days, totally wasting my time!!shit!
I can't sleep for few days, this make me more and more tired, and don't have energy to do anything..
Insomnia...I HATE YOU!!!
So i have few pimples on my face and small panda eyes! Don't you think panda has big eyes? but mine is small~~ so it's worst! =(
let me show you now..ngek ngek ngek

act cute when i am still young..<3

I don't know to wink wink, consider passed? *kitty eyes*

draw a LOVE using lipstick..just to cover my pimple =(

spot my pimple..=(

ugly love shape, but i likie...notice my Love shaped ear ring? from my hubby..=)

I purposely make up for fun because it's stressed of study.

I am using purple eyeshadow, can u see it? it's very hard to draw with purple, so i tried..hihi

First time using volume mascara, so thick! but still my eyelashes didn't curled up FML

I use only a 1 fake eyelash,cut it into 2 and stick at the end of my eyes, not purposely, but i am lazy to find a pair of it, this is the used eyelash where i throw on the table last time..haha..

I didnt use foundation or bb cream, so u can see the redness at my nose...haiz, i don't know what to do with this..

a simple lip gloss and draw a love shape, done!

The panda eyes still can be seen clearly and also the spots, redness and small little pimples (sound cute? girrrrr)

 This is my sunday of MAY..

mummy, happy birthday!! Sorry for no study hard..I will try my best!!